Kagome and Inuyasha
by Demonchild93
Summary: COMPLETE! Well You have heard of the show Will and Grace! Instead I turned it around now it's Kagome and Inuyasha! Review pleaze.
1. Default Chapter

We come to our scene, as Miroku is hanging out over at Inuyasha apartment. Miroku hums to himself as he cooking for dinner while Inuyasha cleans the glass on the patio doors. Inuyasha comes back in and cleans the inside of the doors. "Look at that. Each pane cleaner than the last," he says cleaning it.  
  
"Mmm. Yeah. A boy and his rag. There's nothin' sweeter," Miroku says looking over at Inuyasha and giggles like a school girl.  
  
"Well, with Kagome is out of town for a couple of days, it gives me a chance to get her snout and paw prints off of every surface," he says smirking to himself as Miroku nod's his head in agreement.  
  
"Besides, Tina's coming over. She says she needs to see me."  
  
"Tina? Your father's mistress?" Miroku asks, arching a eye brow.  
  
"Well, technically, she's not his mistress anymore. I mean, now my folks have broken up, she's really just his girlfriend," he says putting the window cleaner down on the table.  
  
"No, that's like saying if you were raised by demon and then rescued by humans, you're now suddenly human," Miroku points out.  
  
"But you are human," Inuyasha says.  
  
Sango comes in rushing and slams the door behind her.  
  
"Honey. Don't leave me alone during the breakfast rush at Jacques'. I'm workin' three stations out there, but, you've got a phone call," she says panting as she walks over to Miroku.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"It's Shippo. Your son," she says with her hand over the speaker of the phone.  
  
"I'm not here!"  
  
"Miroku... You have to talk to him. That's the contract you made when you spent five minutes alone in the dark with a Dixie cup and a Men of General Hospital calendar," Inuyasha says giving him a look.  
  
"No, no, he's gonna-- he's gonna try to get me to another one of his basketball games. It's just not my thing. Make up an excuse!" Miroku pleads, putting his hands together.  
  
Sango rolls her eyes and nods.  
  
"Alright," she says whisperings and turns from them.  
  
"Um, Shippo... Yeah, I've got some bad news. Miroku and I were figure skating and he plunged through the ice. Haven't heard from him since. Could I take a message? Okay. You're trying out for the cheerleading squad?" she asks almost like she's bored.  
  
Miroku hears this and comes running and grabs the phone from Sango and puts it to his ear and places his hand on his waist.  
  
"Brr, I'm back!" 


	2. CHEER Shippo!

A knock on the door stopped Inuyasha at what he was doing at the time. He walked over and opened the door to see Tine, his father girlfriend. Her long blond hair pulled back and pink nails that could blind a person on how bright they were.  
  
"So, uh, Tina, what's goin' on?" he asked as he let her in and they both went over to the couch and sat down.  
  
"Oh, it's your father. I think he's seeing someone else. And I don't know why. I mean, look at me. I'm fantastic," she said looking down at her hands in her lap looking kind of sad.  
  
"What makes you think he's seeing someone?"  
  
"Oh...he's just been distracted. He's always sneaking off somewhere. And lately...every time we try to make love," she chuckles covering her mouth as Inuyasha has a gross face on," he's tired. And I'm sexual. I need it. I mean, I really, really need it!"  
  
"Mm.Yeah. I really need not to know that," he said, he could feel his stomach get funny and holds his arms over his stomach.  
  
"Will you talk to him? Find out if it's true. Please," Tina asked, looking at him with soft pleading eyes.  
  
"Oh," not sure if he should get into this.  
  
"I have no one else to go to. I'd go to my girlfriends, but I've slept with all their husbands," she said shrugging as Inuyasha frowned at her.  
  
Meanwhile across the hall in Miroku's apartment, Miroku talks on the phone to his son Shippo as Sango leans against the wall listening.  
  
"Oh, that's great news. Come on by after school. I'd love to help you. And P.S., Shippo, you've just made me the proudest father in the world!" Miroku said happily and hangs up the phone.  
  
"Wow, cheerleading, huh? Really following in his daddy's footsteps. I remember when Naraku's son first started getting fat. Naraku was so proud. I only wish he'd lived to see him reach 300 pounds," Sango said, looking up at the ceiling smiling to herself.  
  
A few hours later and a knock was heard on Miroku's door and he pranced over and opened the door to see Shippo and walked in.  
  
"So... Shippo... queerleading tryouts, huh?" Sango arched a eye brow at him and smiles.  
  
"Cheerleading," he corrects her, glaring at her.  
  
"Yeah. Well, we'll see what the kids are calling you when they're stuffing you in your locker on Monday," she said taking sip from her alcoholic beverage.  
  
"Okay, Shippo. So what are your guidelines? I was thinking of making you all up in Kabuki like Madonna in her "Frozen" video," Miroku puts a finger to his chin and thinks.  
  
"Right, well... I was thinking a simple cheer and dressed as a guy is probably a better way to go. My locker's very small."  
  
"Why you ungrateful little piece of street trash! I oughta--!" glares Sango and raises her hand to smack him but not before Jack steps infront of her.  
  
"No-no-no! We must encourage him no matter how deep the shame runs," he says and turns back to Shippo," So it says here for the audition, you need to come up with your own cheer. Okay, so why don't you show me what you got, and we'll just change it all to my stuff later.  
  
"Okay. (CHEERING) I've (CLAP-CLAP CLAP) got (CLAP-CLAP CLAP) school (CLAP- CLAP CLAP) spirit (CLAP-CLAP CLAP). I've got (BEAT A FOOT) school spirit (CLAP)!"  
  
"Why you talentless, tone deaf sack of—-," Sango says still kind of ticked at him.  
  
"You're not helping. Sit!" Miroku says and Sango huffs and sits on the couch crossing her arms.  
  
"I know it stinks. That's why I'm here. I need your help, Miroku." Shippo says.  
  
"Okay, we can do this. What are your ideas? What do you think this cheer should be?" Miroku asked.  
  
"I don't know. They just said to come up with something good that shows enthusiasm." Shippo said frowning and shrugged. "Okay, good and enthusiastic. Let's let that roll around. And it's rolling around. And it's rolling around. Good and enthusiastic. Not too on the nose. And stop. I've got it." Miroku starts a small cheer to himself and points. "Boy, are we enthusiastic. We are feelin' G-O-O-D. Boy, are we enthusiastic. We are feelin' G-O-O-D. Good and be enthusiastic!" Miroku cheers and claps and drops to his knee and throws both hands in the air. "You see?!" "Yeah. That--that's pretty good," Shippo had to admit. "Thank you. Now. Let's add a little bit of this. All right, ready? (CHEERING) When I say "go," you say "fight." Go!" "Fight!" Sango and Shippo say together. "GO!" Miroku jumps up and down and cheers. "Fight." "GO!" "Fight." "When I say "when," you say "tonight." When." "Tonight." "When?!" "Tonight." "WHEN?!" "Tonight." "Go-o-o team! Go team!" Shippo jumps up and twirls and cheers. "Okay, great! Excellent!" Miroku smiles and clapps and pats his son on the back. "I've never been more attracted to you than I am right now," Sango says grinning and flutters her eyes at Shippo as backs up. 


	3. Pookie Pookie

First off I like to thank the people that have reviewed my story  
  
Remix-69er- yes to answer your question Inuyasha is gay so is Miroku  
  
Tobias- lol I know Sango is a little scary! Not really her personality  
  
Naraku rock- thank you is all I can say hehehe  
  
Ok on with the story!  
  
Inuyasha had walked all the way to his dad's place and knocked on the door, no one was answering the door so he kept knocking.  
  
"Dad, its Inuyasha. Can we talk for a sec? Dad, I know you're home. Look, I don't care that-- that you're with someone. You're--you're single. You can do what you want. You're--you're Ben Affleck right now. Only without all the extra breakup weight. So, look, whoever you're with in there, it's fine by me. I just want to say that as far as—"  
  
Then he heard some one open the to come face to face with his mother wearing a man's shirt and blinked  
  
"Well hello Inuyasha," she said smiling.  
  
"Mom! What's going on! Where's dad?" he asked as he walked into the apartment and his mother shut the door.  
  
"He's in the shower."  
  
"In the sh-- You're the other woman?! You're the one that Dad's sneaking around with? You and Dad are--are-- You know... thinging," he said looking at her amazed.  
  
"Will, we're adults. Let's talk like adults. Your father and I are making Pookie-pookie," she shrugged as she went and sat down on the couch.  
  
Inuyasha looked disgusted; this was getting to be to much for him.  
  
"Oh! How did this happen? I mean, like, I know how this happens. You showed me when I was 10 with two of my G.I. Joes. I'm not saying that that led to anything, I just... How did this happen?"  
  
"Well, a few months ago, I ran into your father, and we decided to have a drink. Oh, it was fun. He made me laugh. We caught up, and, you know, one thing led to another and before I knew it--," she explained.  
  
"You don't have to finish that!" he yelled.  
  
"Pookie-pookie," she finished.  
  
"Oh!" he sighs," Well, I guess in a way, this is good news. You know, I mean, you and Dad are back together. I'll only have to make one hand-print ashtray at Christmas-time."  
  
"There you go. Who's pretty when he smiles?" she cooed at him.  
  
"I am," he said blushing.  
  
Meanwhile back at Hall of Justice (GAHHH fixes) at Miroku's apartment, Miroku and Sango both wait for Shippo to see how his try outs went when Shippo entered and closed the door.  
  
"Hey," he waved to them.  
  
"So, how it go?" Sango asked taking a sip of her martini.  
  
"Wait, wait, wait. Before you say anything, I'd like to present you with these pom poms. They were your grandfather's!" Miroku said and pulled out pom poms and does a little cheer.  
  
"Go, Shippo! Go, Shippo!"  
  
"I didn't get it," Shippo said.  
  
"What?" Miroku must of heard wrong.  
  
"Why you miserable, worthless--," Sango began to say.  
  
"SANGO! What happened?"  
  
"I stunk. All the girls laughed at me. I'm gonna graduate a virgin," Shippo said looking down at the ground.  
  
"Wha--I don't understand. Did you do this?" Miroku snakes his shoulder left to right and brushes off his right shoulder.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What about this," then snakes his arms right to left and brushes his right shoulder.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, did you do this?" then puts the moves together.  
  
"Yeah, I did all that stuff. They just didn't like me!"  
  
"Hey, did you do this?" Sango asked and began to shimmer her breast at Shippo," Oooooh... La la la la la... ooooh whee-e-e ooooh. Whoo!"  
  
"Uh no."  
  
"Well, you should try it. It's fun!" Sango said and did it again.  
  
"You know, maybe I should go out for track. Might as well. Once word gets out I tried out for cheerleading, I'll be running a lot anyway," Shippo said. "Whoa-ho. Whoa. No. Let me tell you something, Mister. My family has had four generations of male cheerleaders. And I ain't gonna do nothin' to break that up. All right? So I'm gonna go talk to the powers that be, and make sure they know we are a serious force to be reckoned with! Sango! My pom poms!" Miroku yelled and Sango threw the poms poms at him and exits the apartment cheering," Boy, are we enthusiastic....!"  
  
Sango and Shippo shrug and follow after him.  
  
Please review 


	4. basketball and manicures

Inuyasha was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, talking to his best friend Kagome who was on a trip at the time.  
  
"Kagome, it's great. My mom and dad are back together, you know? And I-- I- I feel kinda bad for Tina, but then again, she is the one that kinda broke up the marriage, so I-- Are you peeing while I'm talking to you?! Yeah, I did one time, but at least I had the courtesy to-to-to do it silently around the edge of the bowl!" he said throwing his empty hand up in the air and rolls his eyes then heard a knock on the door.  
  
"Look, I-- I gotta go. Just, please, just this once for me, remember to wash your hands!" With that Inuyasha hung up the and goes over to open the door to see Tina.  
  
"Oh, hi. Tina."  
  
"Hi Inuyasha."  
  
"Come on in," he invited her in and closed the door.  
  
"Oh. So... um... How have you been, Inuyasha?"  
  
"Not bad. I, uh-- I kinda had a weird moment last night—"before he could even finish Tina interrupted.  
  
"Inuyasha! I really don't care. I just want to know what you found out!"  
  
"Oh. Um... I'm afraid I have some bad news," he said smiling.  
  
"Then, why are you smiling?" Tina asked.  
  
"Oh, that--that's... just something that I do when I give bad news. Um, people tell me it comforts them," he said trying to cover it up that he was happy that his parents had got back together.  
  
"Oh... How often do you give bad news?"  
  
"Twice today, already. Yeah. A good friend of mine died," Inuyasha grins," So, um... Listen... I went to see my-- my Dad, and, uh... yeah, yeah, he is seeing someone else. I think it's serious. I'm--I'm sorry." He said slightly smiling now.  
  
"Oh," she sniffles," Okay. You know this is what I thought," then starts to whimper," Oh! I'm so stupid. When am I ever gonna find a married man who's faithful to me? I don't suppose you found out who she is, did you? I mean...the other...woman."  
  
"Does it really matter?" he says.  
  
"Ah! You're right. She's probably some whore!" he said some what angry.  
  
"Or not. One thing I do know is that he's-he's not gonna leave her. So, you know, just move on. Forget about him. You know, you-- you got a killer body. You love sex. Who's not gonna snap that up?"  
  
"Yeah, you're right. To hell with him! I-I deserve better than this. You know, I was voted most confident in my low self-esteem support group." She said proudly.  
  
"Hmmm," was his only answer.  
  
"I hope he gets an STD from that whore!" Tina yelled.  
  
"Or not."  
  
Miroku, Shippo and Sango enter the gym at Shippo's school, the cheerleaders are practicing there cheers as Sango sips on her bloody mary.  
  
"Go, Wolverines, Go! Go, Wolverines, Go!" the cheerleaders cheered.  
  
"Jack, I didn't make the squad. Let it go!" Shippo pleaded with his father.  
  
"No, I won't let it go. If I learned anything from seeing Gypsy fifty times, it's to push your children to hate you and never want to speak to you again. Now, which one's the head cheerleader?" Miroku said looking out for the head.  
  
"The black head one. Her name is Kagura. And I kinda have a crush on her, so please don't embarrass me!" Shippo said nodding his head at her.  
  
"Don't worry! KAGURA!!!!" he yelled.  
  
"Ooh! Ooh!" Sango said getting the girls attention and walked over to them.  
  
"Yes, can I help you?"  
  
"I believe you can," Miroku said, crossing his arms.  
  
"Yes. How old is someone like you? 25? Ever been in a limo?" Sango asked to her who was like "what" but then Miroku pushed her away.  
  
"I'm Shippo's father. Okay? That boy can cheer. Okay? He comes from a long, proud line of cheerleaders. His great-grandfather came to this country with nothing but a tattered pom pom in his hand, and a dream that one day he'd see his children stacked in a perfect pyramid. And now, you're telling me you're gonna deny my son his heritage? Refuse him his birthright?" Miroku said pointing his finger at Kagura.  
  
"Well, yeah! He sucked." She explained and Miroku gasps at this.  
  
"See Miroku I told you!" Shippo spoke up from behind him.  
  
"Shush it! We are not leaving until you give him another chance." Miroku said and pulls Shippo up beside him," Come on, Shippo, we'll do it with you."  
  
Sango sighs and hands her bloody Mary to one of the cheerleaders.  
  
"Hold my drink, Heather. And I know how much is in it, so no sippies," she said pointing her finger at the drink.  
  
"Ready. Okay!" Miroku started.  
  
"Hi, Cowboys. Hi, Sailors!" Sango cheered.  
  
"Hi, musclemen and cops!" Miroku cheered after her.  
  
"Our team is called the Wolverines and you know our boys--," Shippo cheers but then stops," I can't do this! I don't want to be a cheerleader. I never wanted to be one!"  
  
"School Spirit!" Sango finishes and jumps up and down. Miroku grabs Shippo by the wrist and pulls him over to the back of the gym.  
  
"What is going on? What are you talking about?" Miroku asked looking down at Shippo.  
  
"The only reason I did this is so you would pay attention to me. You don't care about anything I do. You don't care about basketball, and you don't care about skateboarding," Shippo admitted, having a sad look in his eye.  
  
"We-we both like Vin Diesel movies," he pointed out.  
  
"Yes, for very different reasons. Do you know how humiliating it was for me to try out for cheerleading? But I was willing to do that to spend time with you!" he said looking up at him, almost like he wanted to cry.  
  
"I didn't know it meant that much to you, Shippo."  
  
"Why do you think I call you every Friday night to come to my basketball games? You know what? Forget it. You can't understand!" Shippo said wipping at his eyes and sat down on the bench feeling rejected. Miroku sighs and sits down next to Shippo.  
  
"No. I do. I do understand. My dad did the same thing to me. When I was a kid, I set up a little manicure stand at the end of my street. I did a pretty good business with a couple neighbor ladies and the divorcees from the next town over. But the only customer I ever really wanted was my dad. Every day, I'd watch him come home from work, and I pray that he'd stop. But he never did. And I'd think to myself, "Why? Why? What kind of man doesn't want a roadside manicure from his own son?" I can't believe I repeated that cycle with you," Miroku said, Shippo looked back at him.  
  
"Well, you did," Shippo said.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry, Shippo."  
  
"I'd let you give me a manicure," Shippo said looking at his nails and at Miroku.  
  
"You would?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You're the best. Thanks, Shippo," He said and gave Shippo and bug hug.  
  
"And I promise I'll start coming to your basketball games. And I'll say to everyone, "That's my son, the one whose nails match his jersey!" Miroku said happily.  
  
"Yeah. You don't need to say that to everyone."  
  
So you know I don't think Inuyasha and Miroku would be ever gay but it is funny! So review! 


	5. Mistress & Whore

Inuyasha had just came out of the bathroom when his mother walked right into his apartment and it was shocked.  
  
"Inuyasha! We have to talk," she said very fast.  
  
"Mom! What if I'd come out here wearing nothing?" he asked tighting the robe he was wearing.  
  
"You mean it's possible to wear less than you're wearing right now?" she asked looking up and down at him.  
  
"I'll have you know skirts are shorter this year!"  
  
"What did you say to that woman?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing! The-the truth. I didn't mention you, but I-I did say that Dad's been seeing someone," he stuttered.  
  
"Ah, Inuyasha, that's just perfect. You've ruined everything!" she said complaining.  
  
"Mom...let's just sit down and talk about this," he said and guided his mother the the couch and sat down and then her eyes went wide when she looked at his lap.  
  
"Uh-oh!" she said.  
  
"Let's just stand up and talk about this!" he said and both of them stood up and he straightened out his robe.  
  
"Inuyasha, thanks to you, Tina's dumped him!"  
  
"Well, that's great. With Tina gone, you and dad can get back together, the way you used to be. You know, with the-the joint showers and pookie- pookie!" he said but also winced at the last part.  
  
"Are you out of your head? Don't you understand why he cheated on me in the first place?" she asked throwing up her hands.  
  
"Well, sure, because you stopped communicating. The-the whole basis of your marriage started to slowly erode!"  
  
"No. It was fun. Cheating is fun! Ooh, the secret little meetings, and-and you only have an hour and then, you gotta hide the evidence. Ooh, gosh, I felt like a spy. I felt like a sexual spy... On a--on a mission to--," she said in a dreamy voice.  
  
"You don't have to finish that!"  
  
"Seduce the enemy with my body," she finished and sighed.  
  
"And she finished it," he said and started to feel a little sick.  
  
"Now, but thanks to you, the meddler in the mini-robe, that's all over. Yeah, I just feel like we're married again, only now I have to pay for my own clothes!" "So what do you want me to do?!" he asked in an annoyed voice.  
  
"Fix it!"  
  
"No! I-I-I I'm staying out of this. You know, just-just- call your other son!" he said in a shocked voice.  
  
"Oh, your brother can't help me. He's straight. He have no finesse for the-- for the details of manipulating petty dramas."  
  
Then a knock was heard and Inuyasha sighed loudly and walked over to the door.  
  
"Gee, what a sweet way of voicing your support for your gay son," he said and opened the door and saw...TINA!!  
  
"Inuyasha-- Oh my God, you're nude!" she said and covered her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, we've done all the robe jokes, move on," he said and pulled her into the room and didn't even notice the other women.  
  
"I was packing my stuff at Inutashio's apartment, and I found a note. The whore is your mother!" she said and pulled a note from her purse.  
  
"Meet my mother," he said with no emotion and pointed to his mother," Whore, mistress. Mistress, whore."  
  
"Well, um, hi. We finally meet. Though I've seen pictures of you when I removed them from your ex-husband's wallet," Tina said and glared at her.  
  
"Well, I must say, you're almost exactly as I imagined you. You're like page four in the Midlife Crisis catalog," his mother shot back at her and if looks could kill Tina be dead.  
  
"Okay, ladies. Let's relax and sit!" he said holding up his hands between then and was about to sit down when..  
  
"Oh!" his mother yelped causing him to stand back up.  
  
"Let's stand. We have a very complicated problem here. A lot of competing agendas. But as a lawyer, I'm used to working on tricky corporate mergers. So I'm sure we can find some common ground. Mom, what is it you want?"  
  
"Well, I want Tina to keep seeing Inutashio. So he can sneak around with me behind her back."  
  
"You're quite the role model. Tina?"  
  
"Well, I want her out of the picture, so I can have Inutashio all to myself. I mean, this is the first time I've ever dated a man that I didn't have to call, let it ring once, and call back!"  
  
"So that was you at Thanksgiving? So what we're looking for is a solution that encompasses all these needs," he said and turned to look at Tina. "Uh, Inuyasha, when you gesture like that, we can see your Pennsylvania!" Tina said and Inuyasha turned again and shakes his head.  
  
"However, that solution does not exist. So let's get to what I want. Otherwise known as what's gonna happen. Tina, move on," he said and she gasped.  
  
"You're gonna be miserable at first, but you'll live. Mom, you are gonna get back with Dad. You're gonna be miserable at first, but you'll live." He says to them and she sighs," Are we clear on this?"  
  
"Um, yes."  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"Good. Now we're all behaving like ladies. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna drink half a bottle of chardonnay, and scrub myself until I feel clean again," he said and opens the door for them and they both walk out and closes the door.  
  
"We're not gonna listen to him, are we?"  
  
"No, the three of us had a great thing going," Tina said and got into the elevator.  
  
"So I'll take Inutashio Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays."  
  
"And I'll keep him on the weekends. We'll give him Tuesdays and Thursdays to rest."  
  
"Ohh, this is great! And it's even more exciting now that we're lying to Inuyasha," and they both laugh as the elevator doors close.  
  
Miroku, Shippo and Sango all sit together looking at a photo album and Miroku points to one of the pictures.  
  
"Ooh, and here's another. This is your great-grandpappy, Liam leading a cheer squad!"  
  
"That's quite a split," Shippo said nodding his head.  
  
"And that was before stretch pants," Miroku pointed out and smiled.  
  
"Yeah, I can see that."  
  
"Oh, talk about courageous. When the Yanks landed in Okinawa, he was right there alongside them, yelling, "Fight, fight." And after the war, that brave man cheered with one arm," Sango said and sighed.  
  
"How does that make you feel, boy?" he asked and patted Shippo on the back.  
  
"If I say proud, can I go home?" Shippo asked. That's the end my fellow people's. If you want me to write a different episode with the Inuyasha characters REVIEW!!! And tell me!! That you all! 


End file.
